Please stop

I think something needs to be done about the headlines that pop up on internet log-in pages. I just logged into Comcast to check my email and read the headline:

“Boy who impersonated police officer had done it before.”

Come on, you can’t leave something like that out somewhere where a creative mind might see it!

My mind immediately went to Stewie, the baby on the animated show Family Guy. Just last night Stewie and the family talking dog, Brian, built a time machine and went back to Germany where Stewie impersonated, among other things, Hitler. I have no idea why I like Family Guy. It seems the show is built around the premise of ‘how many times can we jump the shark in this half hour?’

If I hadn’t stopped to write this, which is a time drain, I would have clicked on the Comcast story to learn how a boy, operative word boy, got away with impersonating a police officer multiple time.

Before my husband retired, he mentioned several times that, while at work, he tried to avoid looking up things on the internet because he never seemed to be able to find what he was searching for and it invariably turned into a time glut. I used to be smug about my ability to get in and get out with what I needed.

Not anymore.

I would write more about it but I need to stop and take an IQ test to see if I can score higher than the 114 points of some guy I don’t recognize and about whom I couldn’t care less.

Churchill and the Borg

Okay, as much as I hate to admit this, my kids might have been right about something they’ve been saying about me for years. They say when I mishear something and I tell them what I thought I heard, it’s usually so ridiculous I should know that’s not what was said. I usually tell them of course I do, that’s why I’m repeating what I thought I heard. Then they say why didn’t you just go to the logical word substitute. And of course I can’t answer this because I don’t share a logic with normal people. This is not to say I’m not logical, just not in ways others might call traditional. I share perfect logic with the many of the people I call my friends. And the friends that don’t share it are very tolerate and often amused.

Today while I was working at my desk I had Book TV on the television in a room that’s about ten feet away. There was a very knowledgeable man on talking about Winston Churchill. By the way, I think it’s funny that so many people will spend their whole life researching one other person!

But back to my issue.

At some point he said, at least I thought he said, “and then Churchill was captured by the Borg and at the time Hitler. . .” My mind immediately started thinking about how bad (meaning cool) Churchill must have been because not many people got away from the Borg. Even Captain Jean Luc Picard was assimilated before--then it struck me. Wait a minute, the Borg does not exist!

The Borg is a race of villains from Star Trek, the television show.

So now I’m wondering what did this guy really say? He’s been speaking another ten minutes while I was thinking about the Borg. This is the real reason why I can’t go back and find the missing word most of the time. Usually by the time I realize I’m off track the race is over.*